


again, and again

by ephvaim



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Heartbeats, Light Angst, Moonlight, talking w just pure eye contact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 10:47:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20505710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephvaim/pseuds/ephvaim
Summary: When she caught up to the prince — no, king now — she quickly realized the he didn’t need her help. The king was a dark and raging ocean; crashing over soldiers with such overwhelming and breathtaking force. She was certain that pale death itself was hypnotized by the way his limbs moved, by the art of his muscles. No one fought like him; no one breathed like him.Dimitri’s hands dripped with deep crimson. With eyes that burned like open wounds and face tainted with blood, he looked like a martyr.





	again, and again

The moon was cold and white as bone.

In the distance, Adrestian soldiers charged towards the monastery, blades flashing white as the pale light of the moon bled onto their weapons and turned them into something brutal.

A soft sigh left Byleth’s lips. If they weren’t about to engage in battle, maybe the moon wouldn’t be so threatening, she thought. Maybe the moonlight would look almost cherubic amongst the garden in the monastery, making the lips of roses and other flowers glow silver. But...that was five years ago. Now, it seemed like the monastery was the graveyard of the memories she once knew.

Byleth shook her head. _ I’m at war _ , she reminded herself. _ There is no time to be thinking about the past. You must— _

“Professor?”

“Yes, Mercedes?”

The young woman pointed north, where Adrestian soldiers neared closer and closer to the monastery. _ Right. _She almost forgot.

“We charge head on,” Dimitri said, voice so low and dark that it mirrored the rumble of an ocean. “_ Now _—”

Byleth caught his hand before he could lift his lance. It was...cold. The biting type of cold that ate at the warmth of her skin. Still, she didn’t flinch away from it.

“Wouldn’t it be better if we just waited until they reach the third hill?” Anette suggested carefully, red brows furrowed in thought.

Sylvain hummed. “That’s actually not a bad idea, because then they’ll be tired by the time they reach the monastery.”

Byleth nodded, as did the rest of the blue lions.

“Fine,” Dimitri grunted, and his armored claw of a hand left Byleth’s. There was a slight hint of hesitance in his movement.

“Now don’t get too full of yourself and start getting ahead of us all again, you _ boar_,” Felix warned with a sword-like edge to his voice. “We won't run nor risk our necks to save you if you go too far.”

Dimitri stayed silent, gaze cold and distant as the moon.

Byleth frowned and hoped Dimitri knew that deep down, this was Felix’s way of telling him to stay close to where everyone could protect him.

But this was no time for heartfelt clarifications.

“_Charge_,” Dimitri roared, and it was now that Byleth knew what being a blue lion meant.

Dimitri broke through the front lines, releasing a gutteral war cry that pierced the sky like a wicked dagger. She was sure the stars themselves caught their silver breath and _ trembled_.

“_Fall_, you ashen demon!”

Byleth’s breath hitched as she barely managed to counter the soldier’s lance with her sword. She could practically hear Sothis scold her, ordering her to focus on herself and at the enemies in front of _ her, _not everyone else’s. She swallowed down the urge to reminisce.

Swiftly, she ended the soldier’s life in one fell swoop. Byleth did not stay to hear his last words.

“Professor,” pleaded Dedue, eyes stirring with concern and worry. “Have you seen His Highness?”

Byleth’s grip around her sword weakened. He was probably swallowed up much farther ahead, surrounded by Adrestian soldiers…_ alone_. Byleth felt a sharp burst of pain from—from _ something _ within her ribcage.

“I’ll cut through,” she promised. “I’ll bring him back.”

“Are you sure you can go alone?”

Byleth would’ve smiled smiled at his genuine concern if they weren’t in the middle of battle. “Yes.”

It didn’t matter much that her muscles weren’t as defined as they were five years ago because of her slumber, because now, she had the power of a god—Sothis—running through her veins.

Dedue hesitated, but nodded. “Anette and I’ll fend off the remaining soldiers coming your way.”

Byleth nodded back, clutched her sword, and fought her way through the enemy lines, piercing bloody relic against armor and flesh. It was easy—almost _ too _ easy—but by the Saint was it hard to just keep _ breathing_.

_ You know well the battlefield is no perfume, _ she told herself. _ You’re a _ mercenary_. _

Yet she had forgotten how thick the stench of blood and sweat could get in the air—so thick that when it passed through her lips, she could taste death red and foul on her tongue. _ You’re no saint. You must swallow this down unflinchingly. _

When she caught up to the prince — no, _ king _ now — she quickly realized the he didn’t need her help. The king was a dark and raging ocean; crashing over soldiers with such overwhelming and breathtaking force. She was certain that pale death itself was hypnotized by the way his limbs moved, by the art of his muscles. No one fought like him; no one breathed like him.

Dimitri’s hands dripped with deep crimson. With eyes that burned like open wounds and face tainted with blood, he looked like a martyr.

Byleth felt the grip on her sword weaken. “_Dimitri_,” she managed, swallowing a lump in her throat. “Fall back.” He was too bloody, too war-touched, too—

  
Dimitri laughed, and the sound was intimidating and almost brutal — like the sound of black waves crashing against jagged rocks. “I’m fine. Besides, this battle is as good as won.” He wiped off the blood from his face, and it left a streak of deep red against his face. “Few Adrestian soldiers remain with life still fresh on their lips.”

Byleth knitted her brows together. While it was true that few Adrestian soldiers remained, one could never be too careful. She opened her mouth to say just that, but quickly stopped herself short.

There was a soldier just behind Dimitri with hungry eyes and lethality dripping from their sword.

Instinctively, Byleth pushed Dimitri aside and winced as she took the blow. It felt as cold and unforgiving as his attacker’s eyes. Byleth focused on breathing as she dug the end of her sword into the ground and leaned on it for support.

_ Turn back the hands of time. Focus, remember— _

Dimitri’s growl shook her concentration. With wide eyes she watched him lift himself off the dirty ground, take hold of his lance once more, and claim that soldiers life his.

He turned to her, face contorted in exasperation and worry. She had never seen anyone so entangled with moonlight and blood before. “Professor,” he panted. “Are you alright?”

Byleth buried her arm through the raging, screaming pain in her abdomen. It felt as if she has devoured a rageful sun and it was trying to burn its way out her.

“Profe — professor you’re _ bleeding_!”

Byleth swayed like a flame and her world became swallowed in darkness.

* * *

It was Dimitri’s turn to watch over Byleth.

A small part of him—no, _ everyone _ —was scared that she might not wake up again— _ especially _ after Mercedes found out that she had no heartbeat even after she healed her every open wound. It was like the world tilted beneath his feet. And yet, through some strange miracle, she kept on breathing.

He frowned. Ever since Byleth’s hair paled, Dimitri never knew she was capable of falling in battle.

He remembers it all so vividly; the day when she pierced the sky red and crimson light fell around her like a bleeding sunrise.

_ She looked like a god_.

A god with intense, burning eyes that consumed even the darkness itself. And yet, that same pale-haired god bled and fell so mortally before his arms, both shadows and ghosts replacing that very star-like light within.

Dimitri sighed through his nose quietly. God or no, Byleth would still be _ Byleth_. The one that left balls too early to play with cats, the one that—

“Dim...Dimitri?”

It was like the world had stopped spinning, and spun again.

She rubbed at her pale lashes and blinked a couple of times.

“Professor...you’re awake now.” His heart beat resembled that of a wardrum. _ You almost died. _“Mercedes tended to your wounds two nights ago.”

Hearing this, Byleth frowned, a small, quiet thing, and closed her eyes shut. She looked disappointed...she looked like she wanted all of this to be some sort of dream.

“Don’t blame yourself too much for falling in battle,” he said.

She must've been exhausted from fighting in the front lines constantly. Byleth might have joined with an unnamed goddess, but it didn’t change the fact that her body was still _ human_. He wondered how much her mortal body struggled to keep up with the raw strength of a god running through her veins.

_ And yet you still tore through the front lines to find me. _He felt guilt thick on his throat. “You shouldn't have followed me.”

Byleth shook her head firmly, seafoam hair swaying. It almost glowed under the moonlight. Her hair had gotten longer after five years, and he wondered if she would cut it or keep it’s long length.

He shut down those thoughts. “You can’t repeat this. Not for me.” Dimitri wished his voice was firmer, but the words left his lips with the edges dulled. He cursed himself.

Byleth grunted as she struggled to sit up from her bed, and Dimitri quickly helped her adjust pillows behind her back so she had something to lean her back on. She should lie down some more, but he knew that was the last thing she wanted to do.

Wordless, Byleth’s gaze dropped toward his hand. Her finger began to draw on the back of his palm—no, _ spell _ . Every line was so gentle—as if he was made of glass. He felt an _ A _ , _ G _ , another _ A _…

She spelled _ again. _

Dimitri swallowed. “Even if knowing that the consequence might involve your death?” His voice was barely audible.

_ Would you really do it again? _

“_Again_,” she whispered, and his eyes widened at how she always knew what he was thinking so easily. “Again, and again.”

She made the words sound as if she could turn back time, she would make sure she’d be the one to take the blow a dozen times if it meant he’d be the one to come out safe.

His eyes stung. _ You don’t deserve to be bloody and bruised for my sake. _He didn’t deserve that from her—not now, not in a million years.

Byleth’s calloused hand wrapped around his.

_ I don’t mind, _ her eyes seemed to say.

Byleth reached her other hand toward his face, and he almost flinched. _ When was the last time he had felt a closeness like this without it ending with his blood on the ground? _Her thumb smoothed out the skin below his eye, almost as if with one gentle stroke, she could erase the dark crescent of sleep that stained his skin gray.

“I wish it didn’t take five years for me to find you again,” she murmured, voice soft as the moonlit breeze that slipped in through the window of her room. She rubbed her thumb gently against his skin, and Dimitri’s armor of a flesh began to melt down.

He felt..._ vulnerable _ by her touch. It didn’t scare him.

“I always searched for you,” he managed, voice hoarse. “I dug through the ruins of this monastery for any trace of your existence.” The first two years he had believed she was still alive—somewhere but alive. But...on the fifth year, he believed her dead.

To see her again and almost die—to see death almost have a grip on her...Dimitri began to fall apart. His shoulders trembled and his breaths began to stagger.

Next thing he knew Byleth was firm against him. When she hugged him, it almost felt like she was trying to piece him back together to the young man he once was.

He hugged her back and dug his hands around her—she was alive and she didn’t die two nights ago. She wasn’t another ghost that crawled up behind his back to haunt him. She was here and she was _ real. _

They held each other tightly. “Your heartbeat is so loud,” she whispered, words soft as rain. “Does it always beat like this?”

_ No, it doesn’t. _Most of the time his heartbeat had been something faint—something he barely noticed. The few times it did beat loudly was when it ran on a rage so raw and deep that he almost choked on it.

But it wasn’t like this tonight. It wasn’t rage he was choking on—it was..._ longing? _ Or could it be. _ .. _No, no. It couldn’t.

_ ...Could it? _

“It’s beating faster.”

“What?”

“Your heart,” she said, voice dancing on the tiniest hint of laughter. She untangled her arms around him and lead his hand towards his chest. Her hand was resting above it, warm and gentle.

“I think if mine would beat,” she murmured, words laced tightly with longing, “it would go just as fast.”

_ I think they would beat as one. _

But...it didn’t matter much if she had a heartbeat or not, because his beat loud enough for the both of them. It was an act of redamancy, and he would let her feel it again, and again, and again.

**Author's Note:**

> dimitri stop charging ahead in battle where no one can see u r scaring the hoes....ANYWAYS hope y’all liked it.... spare comments :’) ?


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